The Darkener's Console

You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

He’s doing it —

He’s doing what he set out to do.

Just because Bannon is out doesn’t mean the goal has changed.

Look at his words, his actions. He is sabotaging stability on multiple fronts. You can’t say that what he’s doing is a mistake or that he’s overlooking alternatives. It is plainly obvious to me that they are deliberate and completely intentional. How can such a wide group of people not see this? Can loyalty obstruct truth? I think we all know the answer to that.

He thinks he’ll make this country great again – but his path for doing so includes causing unnecessary dismantling of economy, culture and faith in our country. He masks these large and sweeping moves by keeping the masses busy with his daily distractions, his never ending moving target of angry tweets and accusations. We can’t zero in on him if we’re constantly trying to prove his obvious falsehoods on a daily basis, there’s too many. It’s on purpose.

I feel like such a fucking tool for even living in this country right now. What the hell am I supposed to do?


“The Media Is” —

“The media” is.

Rather, the media is simply a conduit. A platform. A “thing”.

It can be used for good or for evil – to spread truth or spread lies. It 100.0% relies on whomever is using “the media” to choose the context, accuracy, editorial spin, on whatever facts or incidents have occurred.

I think what people call “the media” (a monolithic conglomerate of mass media and news agencies/outlets) cannot be measured by a single point. Or can it? Of course there is influence, but is there hierarchy? Is the Associated Press sort of “big daddy”, spoonfeeding to others what news is worthy of reporting on?

I don’t think there’s a real answer to these questions. “It” is too fluid. It depends on the perspective of those asking the questions.


When You’re High —

You crave the wonderful heightened sensations and pleasures given from food, music, touch, and sight but your general stability becomes compromised – which manifests itself as anxiety to non-real issues, apathy towards effort and ultimately altogether creating an aversion towards the (at that point in time) seemingly underwhelming and boring world of sobriety.


Conversation with my Dad —

I was talking on the phone with my dad the other night about business, money and character. I was telling him a story about how I had worked for a public school district for a couple of years as an I.T. contractor long ago. I was making good money and had there was much opportunity to make more by building my business plan to include taking advantage of public school grants for technical solutions. I was excited at first, seeing the amount of money that goes toward this kind of thing – and it was right up my alley. I could help children get exposed to Linux and open source software at an early age by implementing computer labs with that type of software. I could also make a very decent living while doing so.

The problem was that the further I got into studying how these government grants worked, the more I realized I would have to change my ‘character’ toward being motivated by the same things higher-ups at school districts seem to be motivated by; a group that eats, sleeps and breathes the system. And by “the system” I don’t mean the education system, like learning, furthering yourself and helping kids realize their potential (which is why I got into public school contracting in the first place). While peeling back the layers I realized the system was more about “winning” grant money. It was like a contest – you dig your heels into a proposition and kneel before the almighty administrative gods, begging for their mercy, for their tightly wound up wads of cash, promising to abide by each and every rule if awarded. Unfortunately, along with this begging comes absolute compromise in your original plan, bending your blueprints to fit *their* ideas, their requirements, their method of thinking (which essentially is motivated solely by money and not creativity, or even education).

All the while of studying these multi-year grant processes, I lost interest. I lost motivation. But how? I was supposed to be helping children, giving them a taste of F/OSS and Linux, an alternative technology to the corporate conglomerates that dominate the industry, that undoubtedly have spent billions on conditioning young minds to believe their warez^Hs are the one and only, the best and what they will be expected to know for the rest of their lives. How could I lose my way? I felt weak, not up to task for pushing for *real* change in the world I so wanted. I just couldn’t get myself to be motivated primarily by money and the public school technological grant system. I thought that others were much stronger in this sense, that I just wasn’t wired to push myself for the sake of money, even if in the end I got, at least, part of the result I wanted (helping young minds experience technology built not on the grounds of money but by cooperation, sharing and hard work).

My dad responded with something I wasn’t expecting. He said he was proud of me, that I was a strong person for not giving in. ‘Proud?’ I asked. ‘Strong?’ I thanked him but said I wasn’t expecting to be thought of as strong for giving up. What he said next I’ll remember for the rest of my life..

“You’ve got to stand for *something*, right?”

He told me that many people don’t have a conscience, that they are solely motivated by their pocketbooks, their selfish mindset and that I was right to not give in to all that. My perspective instantly shifted about this whole situation so long ago and I felt much better about myself. Even though my family and I are not exactly struggling to make ends meet at the moment, I am doing what makes me feel proud of myself, I have given myself the gift of freedom with running my own business the way I see fit, by working on projects that I feel will better the world.

I know my drive for these philanthropic goals won’t cease as long as I’m alive. I’m not motivated by money, I see it as a necessary evil – merely a tool for survival and, beyond that, comfort. Though I do feel I’m beating a much longer and uphill path to financial freedom, I know that my motivation to keep clearing the brush won’t subside. I know that with that eventual success will also come true happiness in having built something that I will be able to call one of my real legacies, something that others around the world will benefit from and express their creativity with…something I am proud to have stood for.

Thanks, Papa. =}


Training the World —

Backwards as fuck
Imagine the luck
Concrete evidence
Disregarded

Clown shoes
Pathetic roos
You think we’re entertained
You think the world is entrained

And maybe “we” are
Complacent in numbers
Dumbfounded and blundered
But not all of us are naive

Your game is pathetic
We deserve more honesty
But you want to trick the rest
Into hemming your dress

So pet your pawn
Let him spew shit from his phone
Pretend it’s real
Watch the rest of the world repeal

But it’s working…
But it’s working…
How can this be working

Are you all in on it?
Is this how you train the world?
Herd them all like sheep
Like Jesus in a pantsuit

Reality show superstar
Supporting roles get white powder in the mail
Or become the subject of hypocritical deportation
Give me a break

This show is boring
I’ll just go deploring
Sick of feeling imprisoned
Led by a carrot on a string


“Work” mates —

I’m thankful for those I “work” with. Colleagues become friends unexpectedly at times, showing how much I have in common with them. IRL is irrelevant. IRC is the medium. Working on a common goal solidifies intent. I feel today has been an important milestone, even if nothing “real” happened. We are completing the steps methodically, with a shared attention to detail and continued faith that this will one day be everything we have worked to create. Objectively open and good for the sake of itself and not for the sole sake of profit. You can’t buy that kind of motivation!!


“Uncle Sam” – The Terrorists —

Please excuse the rough recording, it was at a random practice at Amanda’s house. Ended up being one of the only recordings left after I deleted most of our stuff when the band fell apart. I wish I didn’t do that.

“The Terrorists” was a rock/punk/alternative band I was a part of in 2009-2010. The name was a play on the role the United States was playing on the world stage at the time. This one was one of my favorites.


Rehash —

Rehash

You think you’re so suave
Making new on the old
Different gen, different gen
Press play for your memories again

Die
Go away forever
I don’t need your direction

Fly
Taste the shitty weather
Rehash it all again

I see your loop
But I’m in debt to your coop
I want to move with the masses
Behold, we are all classless

Die
Go away forever
I don’t need your direction

Fly
Taste the shitty weather
Rehash it all again
Rehash it all again


Regarding Digesting Independent Music —

I feel like listening to independently created music would be much better if it was performed live. Listening to recorded and mixed tracks with rough and raw vocals/instrumentation gives me an uncomfortable feeling. It’s not the artists’ fault, they’re trying to present themselves as well as possible. The thing is, when I hear heavily mixed/mastered tracks from people who don’t necessarily have the best chops, the sound is conflicting.

If these same artists performed songs live (i.e. livestreaming), people would be much more forgiving of the performance. Not only forgiving, though, but more engaged as well. When I know that an artist probably spent many weeks/months perfecting a track, and there are things wrong with it (maybe mistakes or pitch inconsistencies) I feel that this is the best the artist will ever be able to do. If I heard the same thing, but performed live, I would probably think much more of it as it’s a dynamic and fluid performance.


Virtualization —

rabbit_hole
Having been researching different open source types of clustering + virtualization + cloud platform technologies (IPVS/LVS, Proxmox, corosync+pacemaker, and at the moment openstack).

I feel it is a probability that, based on peoples’ ability to advance this kind of thing at such a rapid rate, that we’re all living in a simulation (virtualized environment/reality).

Think about it. We’re pretty young as a species (as far as we know). If we can advance technology this far in that little amount of time, we *must* have done it before. And before that. And before that…. the rabbit hole goes deep.


Detox —

Reality
Is a drug
I am addicted

Analog frequency
I hear its nuance
I can tell it from the digital

Pre-existence
Got too close and gravity pulled me in
Locomotion brought me the distance

My body
Is a vessel
With a locked captain’s door

I can rise above
I can pretend
I am swimming in the open
I am swimming in the open

I wanna get so high
When I wave my goodbyes
As I soar past the skies

I can travel
Through space and time
But it’s still only mine
But it’s still only mine

I relapse
I forget
Pull my till through the soil

Soap opera stars
Thrown up couches and fancy cars
Country music don’t go too far

Father Time, Mother Nature
Who woulda known he’d rape her
And now I think I have to save her

Someday I will detox
I’ll go back to my roots
And so will you

Someday I will return
Perfect package or crash-and-burn
As long as I remember what I learned

I’ll remember what I’ve learned
I’ll remember what I’ve learned
I’ll remember what I’ve learned


Jim Carrey —

jimcarrey

Picture by Caitlin Cronenberg, interview by Allyson Shiffman – Full interview here

“We’re a bunch of ideas cobbled together to look like a form. There’s a body and there’s a mind, but the body is part of the field of consciousness, just dancing for itself and it’s no different than a plant or a chair or your phone—it’s all one thing. Because we are sentient, there’s a consciousness, and we have to deal with this thing we create, like a fortress of ideas around it. So we say, ‘This is my name and this is my heritage and this is my nationality and here’s my hockey team and these are all of the things that I am.’ That’s the mistake.”

“…step into the river of tears and the sorrows of your life. The things that everyone is avoiding with everything from drugs to drink to sex and gadgets and whatever else you can distract yourself with, all of it is designed for you to never stop going and moving and, for god sakes, not feel the abyss. Don’t allow yourself to feel the abandonment and pain that you’ve suffered. And I’ve done it; I’m through it. I’m sure there will be things that happen again, but I realized that by letting myself fall into it completely, that it’s not to be feared. Death is not to be feared.”


Emulate —

What I want to be
Is like grasping at straws
Can’t get enough, enough
I want to emulate

Pedestal soaring above my head
A monolith, a twin tower
All I want is to endow her
I am not fed from your plate
I want to emulate
Emulate

What I need to be
Contains all of my flaws
I will call your bluff, your bluff
I want to emulate
Emulate
Emulate


UV Water Sterilization Filter Installed for Spring Water System —

spring-water-system-for-refrigerator
We bought an Ultraviolet Sterilization filter on eBay for our Spring Water. So now our refrigerator water comes from 5 gallon bottles of fresh spring water (usually from Rattlesnake Spring, bottled by yours truly) -> “Flojet BW5000” pump (to provide water pressure to fridge) -> “Crystal Quest Ultraviolet Water Sterilizer-1”. Not thinking we need any filtration past this as the water is always crystal clear. I know most places will tell you UV alone isn’t sufficient for solids removal, etc. but I’ve heard many times over that there is almost no trace of any of that at Rattlesnake Spring. What there *was* allegedly tested positive recently for, however, was Coliform Bacteria. I haven’t confirmed this, so take it with a grain of salt. Regardless, I thought it would be good to make sure the water is safe from bacteria, spores, etc.


My Head is Red —

My head is red
As a buoy the newsman said

Infiltrate, it’s
Psychological warfare, it’s
Blanketing the world, it’s
Drowning me

Try to steer this ship
I’m sick of all this shit
I’m overboard

Save myself from what I feel
Try to ignore a bit
Emit all of my wit
Guide me to the shore