The Darkener's Console

Opening the small mailbox reveals a leaflet.

Another something I don’t remember writing —

I found something I wrote scribbled on a paper note the other day. Don’t remember writing it super well but I like it =p


Live like you’re different
But remember you’re the same

Out of all the lives I’ve lived
Only one thing hasn’t changed

A compass can’t direct
You can lead a horse to water
I like to live life for today
I like to live life for tomorrow


Entropy —

I want to believe
In all this entropy
These synchronicities
Are undeniably

Mine
All mine

I want to dismiss
This negative hiss
But it seeks balance
It sucks me

Dry
So dry

But I want to believe


Orbit —

The more we see
The planets move
The more we see

And if you get distracted
Just close your eyes

The more we believe
In me and in you
The more we believe

And if you get distracted
Just open your eyes

We both know the fact is
We need to go high


:gl1tch —

One of my favorite compositions and songs with :gl1tch, my first band with Jon and Matt back in 2008. Sorry for the bad quality, I don’t remember what contraption we had going on at the time =p

Apart from my love of odd/free time signatures, I’m most proud of my incorporation of the Fibonacci sequence (1-1-2-3-5) in the fourth section.

The song starts super slow but has an interesting progression that gets cooler (well, I think so anyway) as it goes on. The ideas I was visualizing at the time for this song still shine in my mind’s eye. I love how music does this for me.


Rapture —

Is this your rapture?
Lack of Synapse to capture

Is it what you were waiting for?
This, a glaring metaphor

These beliefs are
Obsolete
Did they serve you well
Did you escape this Hell

Is this your rapture?


Rift —

Pull me
In the other direction
Rift

My thoughts
Are scrambled
With

A nail in the coffin
And all you’ve been scoffing
And all I’ve been wanting

Is to feel

Lull me
Into your misconception
Fit

You are
A cannibal
Gift

I’ve done all my talking
And you’ve started walking
Away

From me


Sick of Your Shit —

I could write another letter
I could call you on the phone
I could exercise my vocal cords
Or play a sad trombone

I could do so many other things
But when I think of it
The only thing I’d end up saying is,
“I’m sick of all your shit”


Tackling Obstacles —

“When I’m scared to tackle an obstacle, I close my eyes and pretend I’m an 80 year old man who regrets not tackling all of the obstacles he wanted to in life. Then when I feel like that old man, I say to myself, “I wish I was young again”, then I open my eyes….And BOOM! I’m young again.” –Unknown Author


Breathing —

I’ve found that a good way to concentrate on breathing and remain in the moment is to understand that by consciously breathing, my actual consciousness is synchronizing with my body. Syncing up like this manifests the blissfully lucid energy that is usually trapped dormant within the confines of my soul, taken hostage by obsessive thought patterns about mundane and ultimately pointless day to day things. I feel very warm and welcoming feelings since I started practicing this way.


TOMC —

I’m feeling feelings rn so I’ll just take a big dump right here and feel better.

  • I’m sick of people who fuck the air quality for a 100+ mile radius with arson.
  • I’m sick of living in an air-basin.
  • I’m sick of people who only trust those who cater to their confirmation bias.
  • I’m sick of people who think they know better than everyone else.
  • I’m sick of people who always think about themselves first.
  • I’m sick of people who don’t use their fucking blinkers.
  • I’m sick of people who can’t say “I’m sorry” and not feel defeated.
  • I’m sick of people who say “I’m sorry” but dilute their apology with excuses.
  • I’m sick of people who are arrogantly ignorant.
  • I’m sick of people who are stuck in a closed, tired and given-up mindset.
  • I’m sick of people who are somehow incapable of empathy toward others.
  • I’m sick of people who only pretend they have empathy toward others.
  • I’m sick of inflated egos and self-centered ass clowns.
  • I’m sick of web weaving spiders.
  • I’m sick of COVID.
  • I’m sick of the people who are responsible for COVID’s continued existence.
  • I’m sick of the concept of money and the way it strips us of our humanity.

Yup. =)


Control —

Why do some people seek to control others? Because of fear. Why fear? Because of insecurity. Why insecurity? Because of doubt. Why doubt? Because the inevitable ticking of the clock and natural growth sprouts new knowledge that may conflict with one’s old beliefs.

When a mind is in conflict with itself, the weak will take the path of least resistance in lieu of self improvement, which is undeniably more difficult (especially at first). For them, the path of least resistance seems to be ignoring or even becoming hostile to the newfound knowledge. This, in my opinion, leads to the clinging to old beliefs with an artificial grip… One that the mind already knows is flawed but will insist upon itself to keep in the name of of habitual laziness (i.e. being honest and telling oneself one is wrong creates friction and is difficult for the ego to deal with).

Those who have grown used to believing that they are normally right have the most difficulty with self improvement and growth. It is very hard to admit that oneself may be wrong, especially about things one has strongly believed in the past. This is where the hostility, aggression and control of others comes in. One may cover up their faults with these negative traits toward others to strong-arm them into believing what their own mind is now in conflict with. If the issue is not neutralized it will mutate into a very unhealthy mind construct that will create an overabundance of mental conflict, negativity, hate, depression, fear, uncertainty and denial. These things eat away at one’s very soul.

This is something I’ve been working on for the majority of my life. I like to think that I am pretty humble most times when it comes to self-conflict. Of course, I have my days like everyone but I know that stepping back from myself reveals the real truth and I try my hardest to incorporate that into my conscious, waking every day life.

It’s incredibly hard to admit fault, defeat, being wrong at first, for anybody. Maybe even so hard for some that have grown accustomed to their belief that they’re always right that it would seem unimaginable to be wrong, so they dig deep into the issue to find any fault at all they can point at and declare themselves technically right. I see this in my young children and believe that this is a common trait for adolescents… But to hold onto these mental structures into adulthood is not only counterproductive but downright dangerous. It is the parents’ duty to teach their children that this is something to be grown out of, but if the parents themselves never grew out of it, the chain of control continues.

Do you know someone like this? Is it difficult to hold conversations with them because you fear they will become hostile if you present an opinion, knowledge or facts that conflicts with their beliefs? I feel for you, and I think a lot of people are going through this same situation in their lives right now. May you hold the strength within yourself to admit imperfection, while remaining strong to hold that which you know is just and right against those who attempt to strip it from you with brute force tactics.


Religion —

Much of what comprises organized religion has kept humans from progressing as a species. I’ve experienced this in my own life and I’ve seen it as an observer of this place.

The problem is primarily the function of interpretation and bias. These problems are enmeshed with human defects such as greed. Together, the innocent teachings of many religions are interpreted by many individuals, particularly those in a position of power (whether in a family, a community, a company, a nation) with a bias that (temporarily) satisfies their level of greed.

For followers, the satisfaction of believing that they are not ultimately responsible for their position in life, for example, is enough.

For religious figures/leaders, this greed eats away at their very souls… of course. They are only human. Some are stronger in their conviction than others, and it shows in regard to their true integrity. But others… dare I say most… of those in positions that ‘rule over’ others, so to speak, with the holy word, as if some kind of conduit is constructed between them and the divine… is just foolish to believe. Or, at least foolish to believe that you yourself do not contain every bit of pathway to the same thing as they do, no matter your background. There is no hierarchy in the heavens, but for some reason we are all drawn to constructs like that. It helps us reason somehow, I think.

I understand this does not apply to all religious humans. I do understand that true honesty, good will, respect and devotion do exist within many religious folks. But for those in power, in particular, these honorable qualities erode. It’s hard being a celebrity. Even a head-of-household can (and often does in my experience and knowledge of others) manipulate their immediate family on the basis of faith and religion. Power is a hell of a drug, and if not kept in check, it will inevitably become malignant and suffocate the above mentioned qualities; along with its bystanders.

Talking about this all reminds me of the lyrics… “Some of them want to abuse you // Some of them want to be abused”.


Balance is Contagious —

Balance is EVERYTHING.

If we can learn balance, we can undo what has been done.

If we can learn balance, we can remember who we are.

If we can learn balance, we will re-sync with nature.

If we can learn balance, we will realize that peace has always existed.

If we can learn balance, and practice balance in every aspect of our lives through the pivotal and mundane alike, with the living and the dead, our minds will calm and slow.

If we treat the all encompassing concept of balance, both physical and metaphorical, as what it deserves to be in our minds, lives, relations and souls… Trouble will no longer rule this place. We will remember the purpose of life and the flow of energy that moves within us.

Every one of us is capable of ANYTHING.


Buy —

You can’t buy me
This flows right through me

You can’t gamble for forgiveness
All of your attempts at this
All of the points you’ve missed:

You’ve spent this whole life running from yourself
And now your eyes are an empty shell
It’s quite obvious to all that you cry to and tell
And I’ll never be able to save you from yourself


School —

Today’s the first day of school for my boys.

Though it’s only been 35 minutes, and they’re just in the other room, learning from their laptops, I’ve already checked off three items on my to-do list for today. I’m almost lost; not sure what to do. I usually have had at least 3 ‘opportunities’ to stop what I’m doing and spend time with them (READ: One of them usually comes in the office, breaks my concentration and causes me to get up).

I miss them already :)


I don’t remember writing this, but I know I did —

I have faith in the world music community because
I’ve learned what makes one thrive.

People that care about each other – a fellowship of
sorts, with a strong passion for the music – the art,
the movement, the microcosms that form within the
whole. Virgin sounds are created and repeated for
consumption by people, in an effort to extract an
emotion or feeling.

This core communal motivation to make and experience
music together as a group is undeniable for many people.
It’s not a choice but a necessity – an underlying, never ending
call.

I feel that it’s time to build a new global music ecosystem.
One that’s based on freely sharing originally created works
and allowing the covering, remixing of them too. We cannot
rely on the current industry to allow the art of music creation
and consumption to happen organically – we need new music
under a new premise that sidesteps the deadlocks that
money brings to it.


On the Subject of Auto-correct and Curse Words —

Can we get a muthafuckin’ moment of silence…. for this small chronic break?

Yeah…smartphones be leavin’ out these words, like they don’t exist. I treat these dictionaries that don’t accept these words like I do 7-up; I never have, and I never will!

Let me express myself without direct and deliberate influence on the words I use. Is that too much to ask?


A Planet of Ideas —

With the advent of the Internet, we are no longer a planet of nations. We are a planet of ideas. A planet of people who congregate based on personal interest. The lines have been blurred in our minds, and that’s important to acknowledge when it comes to realizing how collective, global change happens.

The world has gotten a lot smaller in the past 30 years. We’re all feeling the growing pains of having ideas, not necessarily only from huge multinational media conglomerates, but from anybody, being presented to us. It’s confusing. We’re weren’t ready for it and I don’t think we’re used to it yet. There has been a vast widening of the perceivable spectrum of personal ideals. We’re not used to viewpoints so much different than ours or at least our country’s. That all used to be filtered.

And now, as we all get to know each other, we will hopefully all learn how to get along even if our personal ideals differ.. as long as we have something to unify us. Religion used to take care of that, but that landscape is changing rapidly as well.

We have a long ways to go to reach ‘unity’ with this. I have hope for current and future generations, however :) We’re making good progress.